First
by TamariChan
Summary: Kaddar/Kalasin, from the very beginning. Written for SMACKDOWN at Goldenlake!
1. Through His Eyes

**Disclaimer: The world and characters of Tortall belong to Tamora Pierce, not to me.**

**Written for SMACKDOWN, fight 1/A at Goldenlake (fiefgoldenlake . proboards . com)! Kaddar/Kalasin didn't make it to the next round, but you should come and participate anyway!**

**Kaddar meets Kalasin, and is surprised in more ways than one. From the prompt "When I first saw you, I felt like I was young and careless once again."**

-:-

For once, he got to wait indoors for a delegation to arrive. _The perks of being Emperor, _he thought with self-deprecating amusement. All around him couriers milled, dressed in their very finest clothes, gaudiest jewelry, and richest perfumes. Kaddar had never quite embraced his uncle's ostentation, but even he grudgingly dressed for this occasion.

It wasn't every day that a royal bride arrived.

As the thought crossed his mind, drums sounded from outside the lavish ballroom. Kaddar could feel a very un-emperorly sweat bead his forehead. _What if she's not...? _But he didn't know how to finish his own thought.

He wet his painted lips just as his herald's voice boomed out in Common. "Presenting the delegation from Tortall and Her Highness, the Princess Kalasin!" Kaddar's heart pounded in his ears. It was foolish to be so nervous, he knew, over just a girl. Ozorne would have called him weak. Maybe he would have been right.

But then she walked into the ballroom.

There must have been diplomats and ladies-in-waiting with her, for they would appear later at the wedding, but Kaddar did not see them. In one instant he learned what the Tortallan court already knew: Kalasin of Conté _shone_.

It wasn't the jewels she wore or the shine of her gown, because her functional dress would have paled in comparison to the splendors of Carthak were it not for the woman in them. It wasn't the gloss of her black hair or her shining sapphire eyes. _Perhaps, _Kaddar thought numbly, _it's the way she walks_. _The way she holds herself._

She _was_ graceful as she glided among the frozen courtiers, her slippered feet nimbly picking a path through the crowd for her entourage to follow. Kaddar felt burdened and heavy just watching her, even as he sat upon his throne.

Too soon she was standing before him, as his mind still whirred. He rose belatedly and bowed, as she sank into a curtsey to just the proper degree.

"We welcome you to Carthak and to our court, Princess Kalasin of Tortall," Kaddar said formally. Royalty addressed each other as "cousin" in most cases, but Kaddar shied away from the thought of referring to his future wife that way.

His future wife. This glorious creature would be his wife. To his shocked eyes she seemed inhuman, ethereal. How could he ever love someone so out of reach?

"Thank you for your welcome, Emperor Kaddar," Kalasin replied, and her voice wasn't music, like he would have assumed. Instead it was firm and a little low-pitched.

Kaddar was now intensely aware of the people spread out behind Princess Kalasin, waiting to be greeted, and of Kalasin's silence as she waited for him to say something. His palms sweated. _You've been Emperor for _years _and greeting one delegation makes you fall apart? _his mental voice scolded, sounding disturbingly like his uncle. _Keep it together, boy!_

"I hope you will allow me to personally show you all Carthak has to offer, Princess. Most of the planned events this week are banquets and balls in the palace proper," Kaddar said, forgoing the royal "we." He spoke partly out of real interest and partly as a test. From what he had heard about Kalasin, she was a different sort of woman than any he had ever known well - except perhaps Daine.

She smiled at him, an honest, comradely smile that made his heart beat even faster. "That would be lovely, Emperor Kaddar," she said. "I have heard Carthak has magnificent museums."

He had to send her on after that, to greet the rest of the delegation for Tortall. But throughout the night, he couldn't get the thought of her sincere smile out of his head, like a besotted young boy.


	2. Through Her Eyes

**Disclaimer: The world and characters of Tortall belong to Tamora Pierce, not to me.**

**Ready or not, things are going to change for Kalasin. And soon. With the prompt "beginning."**

-:-

Kally felt, as she was escorted to the rooms she'd be staying in for only a week, like she was woefully unprepared for what was to come. She wasn't, of course. She had been preparing for this her whole life, giving up her dreams and her friends and everything she'd ever known just to secure an alliance already made.

She was maybe a touch bitter about it.

But she had put on a brave front, hadn't she? She had kissed her brothers and sisters good-bye and curtsied to her parents. Most impressively of all she had gotten on the boat, and not run away to Tyra like Jasson had half-heartedly suggested. And that night she had met the blank-faced man she was to marry. He was attractive, certainly, but his utter lack of visible emotion disconcerted her. It was utterly alien.

Now she was walking through the corridors, struggling even in the late evening to keep from flushing abominably in the thick dry heat of a Carthaki summer. Whoever planned her trousseau had not taken the weather into account and she was boiling in her high-necked overdress. The servant - _not_ a slave, she had asked - kept glancing back at her, probably wondering at her sluggish pace.

When she finally reached her rooms, she fell almost immediately into a deep, troubled sleep, haunted by images of gilded plates and a dark-eyed man. She was still groggy by the morning, when she was awoken by a lady-in-waiting, dressed, and taken outside to a courtyard. It only occurred to Kalasin after the lady had left to ask what she was supposed to be doing and where she was supposed to go.

"Your Highness?"

She spun to find Emperor Kaddar walking toward her, hands in his elegant breeches and face very blank. They exchanged the formal bows and curtsies required by Carthaki custom and Kally struggled to keep from panting as she stood. It was unbearably hot.

She forced a smile and sat down on a carved bench. Kaddar looked at her quizzically and she thought a fisherman's curse. If only she'd glanced at the itinerary for today! _Would it be bad manners to ask exactly what he expects me to do?_

Kaddar answered without her prompting. "I had planned to take you to see one of Carthak's largest museums today, if you are willing. Uh-" He lifted a hand, then dropped it.

Kally almost laughed at his confused look. It was adorable, much more than the blank facade he had adopted at every other occasion she'd seen so far.

"Of course. I would be honored." Kally stood up and smoothed her too-heavy skirts. Then, shyly, she offered him a smile and was rewarded by the first one she had seen on his face.

More demurely than she ever would have thought herself capable of, she took his proffered arm and they walked through the gates together, out into the city that would someday belong to them.

_But, _Kally thought as she looked up through her eyelashes at Kaddar, who flashed a second smile back, _perhaps that's not such an abhorrent thought after all._


	3. Marry You

**Disclaimer: The world and characters of Tortall belong to Tamora Pierce, not to me.**

**They're wed before her head stops spinning.**

-:-

The week Kally spent in Carthak before her wedding passed alarmingly quickly. What made it even more alarming was the fact that Kally had barely thought of her home at all. Her siblings, yes. Her friends, yes. But Tortall as a whole slipped her mind all too easily as she explored the wonders of Carthak's capital with Kaddar.

Each day when they met to walk to a shrine, a museum, or the university, it dawned on her afresh that she was really going to marry him. And it would be a full marriage, with everything involved, even children, even a kingdom. The thought was still so unreal to Kally, despite the weeks and months and years that had gone into preparing her marriage to the Emperor and allying their two countries.

She was lost in these very bride-like thoughts as she bathed on the morning of her wedding. She had asked her ladies-in-waiting to let her have a little time to herself on this day of all days, so for the first time since she had arrived in Carthak, she was alone in her rooms. _Rooms that won't be mine, after tonight, _Kalasin thought with a not completely unpleasant shiver.

After she had dried, her ladies reentered to help lace her into her gown. It was a Tortallan-style gown in Carthak's most luxurious fabric and richest colors, to showcase the joining of their two cultures. Kalasin would have thought it very pretty if her mind hadn't been so focused on what was about to happen. She wrung her hands until Jacquetta of Naxen held them still.

"Relax, Kally," Jacquetta said softly. "Emperor Kaddar is a good man, remember?"

Kally nodded too many times. "I know. I really do. He's been so good to me and we're not even married yet."

She had no time to ponder the "yet" of her statement. Instead, she tried to be graceful in the heavy wedding gown as the Tortallans who had come with her flooded around her in the hall, assuring her that everything would go well. Someone shouted "Hurry up!" and Kally was rushed, rushed, rushed...

She found herself at the end of a corridor, facing a small door. Miraculously she wasn't sweating, though her mouth was as dry as the Great Southern Desert. With one trembling hand, she pushed the door open and walked inside.

There were so many people suddenly in her vision. Her eyes couldn't focus. For one brief moment, she considered turning around and fleeing back into the corridor. She lifted her eyes - she would not stoop before the people she would rule - and met Kaddar's gold-rimmed ones.

Her steps quickened and her breath hitched. Kaddar's face was not blank or diplomatic, as she had expected it to be in front of so many spectators. He looked at her and only at her, and maybe she was kidding herself but she thought she saw something smoldering in his eyes.

The ceremony was in Common so both parties could understand the proceedings, but many of the rituals were Carthaki. Kalasin participated by following Kaddar's lead. The look in his eyes still hadn't faded and she was sure her cheeks were flushed.

He stepped close to her and lifted the veil she had donned for the occasion, pressing his lips against hers. It was their very first kiss.

"May I present Their Royal Majesties, Emperor Kaddar and Empress Kalasin. May their rule be long and prosperous!"


	4. Avoidance

**Disclaimer: The world and characters of Tortall belong to Tamora Pierce, not to me.**

**After they're finally married, things are a little awkward for the new royals. Written with prompt "It took you forever to notice me… I wondered if I was invisible." Warning for implied sex.**

-:-

The rush of the week before slowed down after Kaddar and Kalasin's wedding night, partly because Kalasin was spending most of her time alone. She wasn't sure if Kaddar was really that busy or if he felt as awkward and embarrassed facing her as she did facing him. The halting, vague talks she was given by her mother before leaving hadn't prepared her at all for the realities of marriage.

Kaddar avoiding her did have some repercussions. Many of the palace's residents gave her pitying or smug looks as she passed by. She tried not to let them bother her, with limited success.

She'd also inquired about her duties and been brushed off. So she began attending daily meetings and briefings to try and learn more about the situation in her new home. Even though Kaddar had been Emperor for quite a few years before their marriage, there was still unrest and conflict in many of the further provinces.

At present she rested her head on her desk and crossed her fingers behind her neck. _If Kaddar would only talk to me_, she thought. _It's like sharing a bed with him turned me invisible!_ Kalasin was fairly sure that wasn't how it was supposed to work.

"Is everything all right, Princess?" came Kaddar's quiet but distinct voice from the connecting room.

"Empress," she mumbled into the desk. "I'm your wife, aren't I?"

"What's that?" Kaddar's footsteps wandered into the room until she could see his slippered feet and the hem of his robe from the cracks between her arms.

She raised her head at last and stood up, noting how he still wouldn't meet her eyes. "Everything is fine, sire," she said, "but I wish you would call me Kally. Kalasin at least."

"You don't call me Kaddar," he pointed out.

"I might if you stuck around long enough for us to speak!" Kalasin snapped, her voice becoming heated. She immediately clapped her hand to her mouth. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-" Kaddar was still silent, so she rambled on. "I did mean, but not like that - you just, I, marriage shouldn't be like this."

"Like what?" Kaddar said.

They were still standing toe to toe in their nightclothes. Kalasin was a very tall woman but Kaddar still towered over her.

"So much silence," she said. The anger in her voice was gone and her tone was sad and soft. "Could we not be friends? We _must_ be partners. Friendship - it would help us, I think. Everything's easier when you've got a friend." She tried to force a smile but ended up staring at the floor.

"You're right," he said.

She looked up again in shock.

He met her eyes then, his own very dark and very tired. "I think you have a better understanding of ruling and human nature than I do, and you've only been an Empress for two days." He smiled ruefully. "Friends?"

Kalasin nodded and they smiled at each other.

It was a start.


	5. Confessions

**Disclaimer: The world and characters of Tortall belong to Tamora Pierce, not to me.**

**Friendship only satisfies for so long.**

-:-

Kaddar caught her on her way out to market. His mother had directed him there with a haughty sniff. She disapproved of Kally's mingling with the common folk. She disapproved of Kally in general, really.

"Hello," she said cheerfully. She swung the basket in her hand back and forth in time with her brisk walking pace.

"Good morning," he greeted, moving to walk in step with her. "Going to town?"

She raised her eyebrows. "No, dear. I'm heading toward the bay for a swim." Kally looked pointedly back the way they had come.

He laughed and grinned at Kally. Kaddar was irrationally proud of his wife's sharp intellect and sense of humor. "Yes, yes. Would you care for some company?"

"Sure," she said easily. "Always good to have a friend around, right?"

He nodded and ignored the pit-like feeling in his stomach. It had no place being there. Being friends with his wife was exactly what he wanted, more than he ever expected from an arranged marriage allying two rival countries. What more could he ask for?

"Of course," he replied. Kaddar eyed her out of the corner of his lined eye, debating whether or not to grab her hand. But he didn't; somehow it seemed a little too invasive.

_Which is silly, _he scolded himself, _since we're married. _But he still didn't reach for her hand.

"Problem?" Kally asked.

He shook his head, then nodded, then shook it again. "Kalasin - I - I've had a dream, a wish, for a while now. It's kind of silly, kind of ridiculous, but still I've been hoping it comes true."

They turned the corner onto Market Square, ignoring the eyes on them.

"What is it?" she said with interest.

He took a deep breath. "I love being friends with you," he said. "But... and I don't know how to say this... could we someday try for more?"

"More?" she echoed.

And then all his subtlety dripped away. "Kalasin, I _love _you!"

"I love you too," she said easy as you please. "What do you think about these papayas?"

He gaped at her. "What?"

"This fruit," she said, waving it at him. "Can I make dessert with it?"

"Uh, probably." He scratched his head. "Um-"

Kally smiled into his eyes. "We're married," she said in a too patient tone. "Of course we're going to end up in love, if I have anything to do with it. Now come on, I have lots to buy!"

As was becoming his usual, he followed her in a grinning daze.


End file.
